It’s morning here. Cool. There were sprinkles of rain on the tarp over our tent in the night.
I notice a tenderness here in my heart. It seems like it might just be part of being human. There is so much beauty and so much sorrow in this world and all that adds up to a tender heart for me this morning.
I’ve been reading,”Finding Your Way in a Wild New World: Reclaim Your True Nature to Create the Life You Want” by Martha Beck. I highly recommend it. Instead of starting with what do you want? It starts with Wordlessness and Oneness. Teaching techniques for dropping out of the verbal mind and into the present moment and into our connection with all things. From there it asks the question – “what is wanting to move through you?” I like this version of “Creating the Life You Want” way better than some of the others people talk about. I am such a strong believer in the potency of Presence! Of course our vastness is more intelligent than our isolated personalities.
We’ve been experimenting with some of these techniques in the yoga class I’ve been teaching and that’s been lovely. I love the moving practice and dropping into the body. I love the possibility that unhelpful patterns could just melt away.
I’ve been attempting to bring more of this state into my gardening – realizing how I get caught in the “things to do,” which keeps me out of connection with with garden. It’s been sweet to slow down and offer more attention. Slow down and see what is wanting to happen next. Slow down and notice that one of the trees looks a bit wilty and be able to set a hose. Slow down and notice the miracles of flowers.
Asking the question – what would bring more joy for all beings? How can I play more? What brings me deep satisfaction and joy?
I’ll keep you posted. Today it is yoga class with Amy Williams at BIJA in Paonia – she’s so amazing. And perhaps some water somewhere. And some garden time. And some time for art.
One of my commitments to the creativity circle is to do yoga while on this tour at least three times a week. Because of the nature of touring on two RV’s with 13 people, this becomes slightly challenging.
It leaves me doing yoga in tight hallways, and at random spots such as the parking lot of the auto shop where we got the big RV patched back together while listening to Japanese pop music, watching the sunset with my hair blowing in the wind.
I’m thankful that my commitment has been stronger than the inconvenience.
There are now a whole section of daffodils in bloom.
And the apricot blossoming continues, but it is forecast to freeze tonight. We hung up some Christmas lights in one of the trees, I’ll report later if it works.
The wind is strong today.
In yoga class this morning I came into contact with the heartbreaking reality of our subtle aggression towards our bodies. My subtle aggression. We’re doing it constantly – wanting our bodies to be something other than they are right now. And while there is nothing wrong with the desire to be stronger, more flexible, more. . . whatever, it can easily turn into aggression. Of course this habit is fueled by the media and the culture and the ego’s desire to stay in control. Of course you want to be comfortable in your body, but notice what happens when you’re not and how subtly aggressive you can be.
The way to step off this roller coaster is just to stop. Here. Now. Listen. Notice. Pay attention. This body. Not some hypothetical other body, this one. What does your body want to eat? How does your body want to move? Is it time to rest? The body lives in the present moment, so tuning into the body is a simple way to bring yourself into the present moment. Healing happens here. Peace happens here.
I love practicing yoga with the focus on being present in the body as it is. It feels so sane to me. Yes, it will get stronger, but that’s not the point. Yes, it will get more flexible, but that’s not the point. The point is self-care. Honoring the body in the moment, not waiting for that hypothetical later. The body is such an innocent willing servant.
I’m working on a song, I’ll let you know if it’s ever ready.
The bridge is this: Out of the mind, into the body. Out of the mind and just right here.